It's so nearly Christmas, I can feel it sneaking up behind me, ready to suprise me with way too much food, and plenty of good feeling. This is one of my favourite Christmassy recipes, a crumble is always a classic, but the addition of mincemeat makes it gloriously festive.
6 Cooking Apples, the kind that are really sharp and bitter when not cooked. Peel and core those demons of sour.
2 Tablespoons of Mincemeat. OH SNAP!
300g Blackberries or Raspberries or Both if you're completely and utterly INSANE.
225g Porridge Oats. Not Ready Brek you cretin.
150g Plain Flour. I use Gluten Free because I'm really annoying.
150g Salted Butter. You can use unsalted instead if you really have to.
150g Soft Brown Sugar. I cannot mock this angelic foodstuff.
Turn the oven onto 190C/fan 170C/Gas 5. If you haven't got an oven I guess you should just wait for a really really hot day. Sort out the apples: peel and core them and then I recommend putting them in a pan of cold water so they don't go brown. But maybe you like brown apples. Maybe your friends and family hate you.
Hahahaha look at this apple:
When you've prepared all the apples pour the water out of the pan, and then heat the apples up until they go soft. You don't want them too mushy though. I would say about 45% mush. Add the blackberries to the mush and then mix it all together. It's OK if the blackberries get squished because when you cook the crumble it all mulches together. 85% final mulch. Now it's time for the Christmas part. I recommend putting on 'Home Alone' when you do this.
The reason I looked so awkward with the mincemeat was that we'd only just met and it was being kind of flirtatious. Shout out to my turquoise Le Creuset doing a cheeky photo bomb. I would add a couple of tablespoons of mincemeat to the fruity mix, but feel free to go crazy and add loads. Show that sweet spice who's boss.
You should now have a pan of this:
Taste it I dare you.
To make the crumble part I recommend melting the butter. I know I know, I'm a loose cannon. Get over it. Some of you might have never melted butter before. Here is a photo of melting butter so you don't freak out when you do it and completely lose your mind. Like, "Ahhh what the hell is that?!"
It's melted butter my friend.
In a big bowl mix together the oats, flour, sugar and a little bit of cinnamon if you have it. If you don't have it then I think you should reconsider the stocking of your kitchen. Pour in the melted butter.
So pleased, such a classic pouring shot #classicpouringshot. Mix the butter into the oats and crap so everything is coated in dairy. It should look and taste like flapjack, BUT IT ISN'T A FLAPJACK.
Pour the fruit into an ovenproof dish. You want one that's about 20cm by 30cm. Or 10cm minus ruler by ruler if that helps.
I had already added a tiny bit of crumble mix to the fruity mix when I took this photo. Well I'm SO sorry. Turns out I'm not Mario flipping Testino.
(I was being sarcastic).
Smooth the crumble mix onto the fruity mix and make sure it's nice and even. Like this:
Then put it in the oven for about 35-40 minutes. Mine never really changes colour that much, but the top gets crispier and the bottom gets softer. Like the ideal man. So don't panic if yours doesn't look cooked, it probably is.
I have mine with Brandy sauce because I can handle it.
SPOILER ALERT - this pudding tastes amazing.