Thursday, 19 June 2014

WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT STYLE FROM TLC'S "CREEP"


TLC absolutely 100% changed my life. In addition to being gorgeous, incredible break dancers and unbelievably competent songwriters, they taught me the importance of not chasing waterfalls. They also kept me away from "scrubs," which was the pre-Y2K term we used for creepsters, d-bags, and skeezes.
I thought I had a pretty comprehensive view of their whole project back then, but hindsight is 20/20, and looking back now I see the most important thing T-Boz, Left Eye, and Chilli taught us all was how to dress. Here are five examples to illustrate what I'm talking about: 
1. If you're having a bad hair day, put a tea cozy on your head.  
2. Recognize the importance of showing your stomach as much as possible. You've worked hard to get those abs—own it!
3. When it comes to hair accessories, always co-ordinate with your eye shadow.
4. Wear your Sony Walkman everywhere. Your life is awesome and it deserves a constant soundtrack, even if you're risking death while blasting Shai on your bike. 
5. If TLC had just one takeaway, it would be this: spray paint isn't just for walls, friend. 
To uncover more fashion and life lessons from this terrific trio, I've put together a handy guide to style, as sourced from the video to TLC's "Creep."
Match the shade of your lipstick to the color of your gigantic silk shirt.
Don't just wear tangerine, make it a lifestyle.
It’s not enough to have silk pajamas. You need silk pajamas and a matching silk overcoat. If you're lucky enough to find this combo, wear it everyday.
When teaching your friend who didn't make the band how to dance, always do it in black and white. This will add to the emotional depth of the moment.
I know you think you can't have a haircut that's crazy short at the back, blonde on top, and black underneath with seriously short bangs and two longer sections of hair hanging down around the side of your face like dog ears, but you can. And it will look good. So good that trumpet players everywhere will peer down your off-the-shoulder top as you sing.
This video also features rotating blue metal tubes, therefore they are every woman’s must-have fashion accessory. Although like most fashion accessories, these appear to have no practical use.
If you're a dude, get a corduroy jacket so large the sleeves hang down around your knuckles making you look like a 13-year-old boy growing into his Bar Mitzvah suit. This should be worn over a bare, oiled chest, and light blue jeans. Jean size? Colossal.
Ladies. We already know we should be wearing men's boxers under our jeans. Just remember to pull up your underwear so you get a near-atomic wedgie. This gives the desired ruched effect that will bunch over the top of your waistband and make you look amazing. Discomfort goes hand-in-hand with looking fly. Deal with it.
This goes without saying: use scrunchies for your pigtails, yeah?
Love you forever, TLC. 

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED ON NOISEY

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