Tuesday, 18 November 2014


This is a piece I wrote for The Debrief (who I love) about some scary/exciting style reboots headed our way. 

We have some news. And you might want to take a seat for it. Look, there's no good way to say this – the Noughties are back.

We know, we know, but trust us: the catwalks in London, Paris and NY have long been hinting that a revival of the decade of dubious style is coming, and we can't ignore it any longer.  This time next year, we'll all be lusting over low-rise jeans, long sleeve mesh tops, and square toed ankle boots. The word “Bootcut” will be Googled more than ever before. And suddenly we'll feel drawn to our GHD's for straight, brittle hair that lies flat against our sparkly cheeks. You never, know we might even start investing in glittery butterfly clips and G-Shock watches.  

Maybe we're over-reacting. Perhaps some people are thrilled about this new development. 'Finally!' they'll shout, grabbing their asymmetrical dresses and silver strappy sandals.  'Yes!' they'll air punch, pulling out their cargo trousers and cropped camouflage tops. But for those of you concerned by this news we're here to help. In times of trouble and confusion it always helps to turn to that one reliable source of fashion inspiration – films and TV shows.  And thank god, once again they've saved us. The screen sirens of yore (well, ten years ago) can show us the light through the gap in our flared jeans.

Here's a few throwback TV style icons you might want to take inspiration from: 


One way to do the tricky trend that is bootcut jeans Marques Almeida style is the 'Charmed'/'Buffy' way. It seems witches and vampire killers really know how to nail this look. So maybe wear those bootcuts with a floaty camisole and a pointless chunky belt. There should be echoes of Britney's double denim, and also the stage outfits for irish pop outfit B*witched. No seriously guys, you might want to start considering fabric that is “embellished”.  

  And why just wear the jeans when you can also wear a matching long sleeved denim T-shirt? Almeida's collection with Topshop, all lime green silk vests and crinkly blazers, is ideal for some demon hunting Halliwell sisters style. How about a frayed denim skirt worn with an open taffeta shirt and a plain white tee? Or a knitted pencil skirt and a bucket hat?  Ideal for Buffy in the summer months, when her boyfriend is seriously considering sucking her blood. 


The most popular girls of North Shore High wear pink on Wednesdays, but Moschino's women wear it seven days a week judging by the latest collection. Jeremy Scott is clearly doing his best to make the label top of the Instagram pops, drawing our eyes to his new Barbie-inspired collection faster than the Elle Woods bend-and-snap could. Pink is clearly going to be huge, as are chain belts, sequins and roller-skating. And it looks like co-ords could be staying, especially when we're talking about tracksuits that you definitely don't work out in. Well, maybe a smidge of arm toning with two 1lb bright pink weights.  

All of this is immediately remiscient of Regina George's trend setting cherry blossom hued kilts and her trademark suburban mall glamour. See also her mother, who slides her surgically enhanced bosoms into a velour tracksuit the same shade as cotton candy.

What was most notable about the Moschina show, fyi, was the energy and enthusiasm of the models.  Their matching big blonde blow-outs bounced as they grinned their way down the runway, they were perfectly embodying those high school girls that get stared at as they glide past the lockers. This look is hard to pull off, but it's worth a try if you don't want to end up in fashion's burn book.


The preppy schoolgirl look never really seems to go away. She's there every season, looking down on us all, flicking her hair and picking some non-existent lint off her navy blazer and crisp white blouse. That said, Chanel's collection had a decidedly 2000s spin on this tried and tested look.

Alongside the pinky purple tweed fitted suits and thigh length breton cardigans they mixed in metallic sequins, opaque tights with pale two piece skirt suits, floaty white mini dresses just perfect for rolling around the Hamptons, and floral print shirts with ruffles. It hit the perfect Blair Waldorf note of 'Hey I'm young and still into hair-bands, pastels and petty arguments over boys, but that doesn't mean I don't have the money to dress like a grown up.'

Plus there was gold EVERYWHERE. Gold belts, gold lurex tights, even gold brogues. Gold means money. Upper East Side money.


Marissa Cooper was the ultimate 2000s California girl. She was a beach babe with caramel skin and caramel hair, and she was loaded. Of course she was also a teenager, so while she had the money to strut down the hallway in full-on Chanel, she was also very casual and comfortable. And like most of the noughties icons on this list, she liked her denim. Being a West Coast socialite she was drawn to summery colours and she totally rang the boho alarm: lots of bangles, layers of necklaces (including pearls, naturally), peasant blouses, and asymmetrical skirts.

There's a bit of Roland Mouret's new collection about her, likewise Jonathan Saunders, but the collections I think she would have really loved this season are Burberry Prorsum, with a splash of Etro. The latter saw models strolling down the runway in midi skirts decorated with big sunset-hued sequins, worn with fitted denim jackets and sneakers. Perfect for the statuesque Marissa when she's on the hoof from Math class. And since she was a collector of bold accessories I think she would have lusted after these multi-coloured bowling bags.  Meanwhile Etro's collection of 2000s Sienna Miller-esque dresses and intense embroidery. Marissa would never have worn an entire look from the collection, but I could see her in one of the dresses, probably worn with a woven belt round her hips, and a scarf round her head.  Oh, and bangles. Always bangles.

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